Sunday, January 30, 2011

Still Sucks To Be Me, by Kimberly Pauley

Alas, this book fits into two categories that have been majorly overused on this blog of mine. Yes, it is both a sequel and [gasp], a vampire book. So, you may ask, what makes this book so different from the others? The answer is very simple: it is 500 times cooler, funnier, and well, better than the others. I did not stop laughing from the beginning to the end of the book (which annoyed everyone around me), but I couldn't help it. No one has ever made vampires this funny. But was even better was that although it was utterly hysterical, it was also serious and had a normal-ish plot. And was one of the best sequels ever.

In the first book, "Sucks To Be Me", Mina, the daughter of two vampires, is discovered by the vampire government dudes and must become a vampire or magically disappear down a dark alleyway so she chooses the former. So then, she needs to go to these classes to learn all about vampires and so on. I don't remember the rest of the plot but at the end, she becomes a vampire and ends up with a cute guy. (That wasn't a spoiler, by the way, because anyone with half a brain, which is surprisingly few people, can figure that out after page 4.)

In the sequel, Mina's life as a vampire officially starts with her family faking their deaths and moving away. And the cover flap was really weird so I don't know what else is safe to say.

5 stars. 5 full stars without even a dot uncolored.



Monday, January 24, 2011

Halo, by Alexandra Adornetto

Before starting, let me just tell you that the author, Alexandra Adornetto, was 18 when she wrote Halo.

Halo was a very unique book, especially surrounded by all the other teen fantasy novels. Instead of vampires, there were angels, but the book didn't seem overly religious, like it was trying to convert you (well, mostly). The angels were different, not how you would imagine angels on earth to be, but still angels. Bethany and her two angel siblings, Gabriel and Ivy, were sent to a small town somewhere in Australia because there were strong dark forces there and they need to be counterbalanced. Bethany is a young angel, and the most human of the three. She meets Xavier and they fall in love, which is the forbiddenest of the forbidden. But, although the love story is a main focus of the book, dark things occur and the angels must rescue all the stupid teenagers of the town.

This was a very interesting book, even if it get a little bit generic with the love story. What I didn't like was that nothing happened for a hundred pages, then the next two hundred covered the love story, and the last hundred and plus was where the dark side came in.

4.5 stars



Size 14 Is Not Fat Either, Meg Cabot

Unfortunately, I am once again commenting on a sequel, but since it is so similar to the book that comes before it, Size 12 Is Not Fat, this should be relatively easy.

Before I start, I'd like to say that although I wouldn't call Meg Cabot an "amazing, incredible, blah blah blah" author, I do secretly enjoy her books, and her talent for pushing other genres into her generally chic lit books.
This book (well, series really) is a mystery and although I cannot stand mysteries, I actually enjoyed this. But no judging.

The story goes something like this: Heather Wells is an ex pop star whose mom ran away with all her money, her dad has been in prison for years, and has been out of style for years. Now, she is 28, a couple of sizes larger (which she never stops mentioning. But I think she should stop eating so much. With the amount of high calorie food she eats, cutting out a few would not be that hard), single, because her fiance, whose fame was going down really fast, dumped her for someone a little more famous. And skinny. Anyway, Heather's new job is an assistant dorm manager or whatever and in both the first and second books, some students have been murdered. [insert creepy music]. In the first book, 2 girls fall down an elevator shaft and the incompetent police put it down to elevator surfing. Heather knows that these girls aren't the type to elevator surf so she goes and solves the crime, with a little help from her crush/landlord/ex's brother, who happens to be a PI. In the second book, the same thing happens except instead of falling down the elevator shaft, a girl's head is found cooking in a pot. Yes, that is the most disgusting, cruel, and sadistic thing ever. But don't worry, because Heather finds out who did it. And gets insulted along the way, because everyone insults her. No, I'm not kidding. On every page, someone insults her. But, in the end, she lives not so happily ever after, without her PI and still a size 12. The end.

3.8 stars. I would've given it less but the lines were pretty funny.



Sunday, January 16, 2011

Misguided Angel (and all the Blue Blood books), by Melissa de la Cruz

I have recently discovered that most of the books I have written about on this blog of mine (that no one is reading) are about vampires. I plan on changing that-after I tell you about my favorite vampire series: Blue Bloods.

See, these vampires aren't nice vampires who fall in love with humans and live happily ever after in an Edward-Bella fantasy. There have been instances when a blue blood, (a vampire) has fallen for a red blood (one of us, or a muggle as I like to think of it), but those instances don't turn out well for anyone. For instance, the main character's mom has been in a coma since she refused to drink blood after falling in love with a human. So she messed up her life, her daughter's life, her twin/true love's life, and her mom's life.
The thing about the blue bloods is that they don't live forever as in their bodies don't die, they live forever as in they are reborn over and over and over again and retain memories of past lives. There is some angel mumbo jumbo mixed in somewhere but I just skip to the fun parts. Something about angels sinning and being forced to live on earth. But who really cares? Some of them have bondmates, or someone they are destined to be with in all their lives. If they don't match up with their bondmate then they will die. Enter Schuyler, the half breed (or in my twisted mind, a purple blood. or violet. or lavender. I haven't decided yet). Her mom, mentioned above, decided to marry a human and instead of having a child who would later discover she was some ancient reincarnation, had a child who was just half vampire-half human. Lovely mix, ain't it? Anyway, Schuyler is just starting to get symptoms and is thrown into this world of spoiled rich people who will never really die. Some of the occupants of this world are Mimi and Jack, bondmates and twins (not as incestuous as it sounds). They are the angels of death and destruction, respectively. Mimi is that mean girl who always gets her way and Jack is the carefree rich boy who always gets the girl because he is so darn good looking. Angel of destruction always had a thing for Angel of Something Good, Schuyler's mom, in past lives and now is no different. Except he falls for Schuyler who also has a sort of crush on him. (It's not like she can help it, he's really hot.) And of course, there is the mandatory best friend with a major crush, Oliver, who is not a blue blood but involved in the world. And Bliss who is just really mysterious but nice and annoying too. I just kind of ignored her until she mattered in the plot.

What I'm trying to say is that this series is totally awesome, different, and unique. It's Gossip Girl meets Twilight, with only the good parts from each. (That means no where near as many curse words as Gossip Girl and no cheesy plot like Twilight).

5 stars. 6 stars. 7 stars. I think you get the point.



Love Sucks, sequel to Bite Me

Pretty much the same as Bite Me, just in Love Sucks, all the loose ends are tied up. Like the not very subtle hint at the end of Bite Me that there was something a little fishy going on with one of AJ's best friends. It turned out to be a little more than fishy--more like full on creepy. Especially for Robbie-that guy will need lots of therapy for the rest of his life.

One more thing: What is the point of inserting characters that have achieved absolutely nothing? If this book was turned into a movie (please never ever let that happen), Lex and Robbie would not be included because the only purpose they served was to teach AJ how to use her totally non-vampiric powers.

And to all fans of the "vampire" genre, vampires have to be bitten, not born, they have to bite humans for blood, they can't go into sunlight and would NEVER become a doctor. They kill people not save them!!

But the books were okay anyway.

I can't think of any specific star number to give them. I am going to say 3 before I press backspace again.



Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bite Me, by Melissa Francis

This is one of those books where the main character's entire life falls apart in a week. AJ's week starts off with her mom marrying her boyfriend's dad, effectively breaking up her and her boyfriend (who are very much still in love. What kind of parents would do that?). Her best friends hate each other and AJ, who is a vampire, thinks she might have turned a guy from her school who is thought dead into one. And then, this same undead guy decides to stalk and terrorize her. Lovely week, huh?

I actually enjoyed the book even though after reading one chapter I though I wouldn't. AJ's complaints weren't annoying--they actually seemed genuine and she actually wanted to solve her problems. She wasn't insecure but she wasn't arrogant. Her family was a little generic but adorable nonetheless. But her mom was too good and too nice. Way too nice.

4 stars--too teenagerish for 5 stars, wouldn't appeal to anyone over the age of 17