The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund, by Jill Kargman

I must confess: I do not usually like books about divorced women. Why? because they are all identical and every single character is selfish. Every single one- even the ones who are supposed to be "nice". The plot is woman gets divorced, woman cries, woman has fling, woman forgets that she is mother, woman and Mr. Right II live happily ever after. The end. This book did follow the mold up to a point but as it is a romantic comedy it didn't have much choice with the whole Mr. Right II thing. However, what I did admire was Holly's love for her child. In the middle of all her emotional turmoil she is still a great mom with her priorities straight. She does cry and mourn the end of her marriage, but she doesn't neglect her son.

Now you are probably thinking that I loved this book because I didn't bash it yet. Don't get your hopes up. Or down. Or in any direction. The bashing is yet to come.

My problems with this book were (as usual) with the supporting characters. Kiki, Holly's best friend and ex-sister-in-law, is way too over-dramatized. Someone with her style and personality only exists in movies and books and her happy ending came way too early and surrealy. Yes, I know that is not a word. Meanwhile, [spoilers ahead] Elliot is too much like Holly to be real. I'm sorry but he is too similar to her to be real. Ok, I'm done now.

But let me tell you, that ex-he's evil. Majorly evil.

4.2 stars. I thought I could go higher but I couldn't.

I Am Number 4, by Pittacus Lore

Before I start, for anyone with half a brain out there: Pittacus Lore is not his real name. Good. Now that I have brought you up to a second grade education, I can begin.

For those of you who haven't read the book or seen the movie, I Am Number 4 is about an alien. Who came to Earth after his planet was destroyed. And one day he and the others he came with who are still alive will go back and bring life back to the planet. Yes. It is as cheesy as it sounds. Number 4 is the 4th (no, I'm not kidding) out of 9 alien kids who were sent to Earth while their planet, Lorien, is being destroyed. Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are dead and not they are coming for Number 4. Number 4, the main character (not kidding here either), travels around with his guardian on the run from them. He chooses the name John Smith, but no one in the town suspects him of being anything less than normal. Let me ask you this: if someone showed up all of a sudden in your town and his name was John Smith would you suspect him of anything? Personally, I feel it is the most idiotic fake name ever. And that includes Pittacus Lore. Enough about the names though, John/4 gets comfortable in the new town, gets some friends, a girlfriend, and doesn't want to run away at the slightest bit of danger. Now is when I stop reading and start screaming at him about "i don't care how lonely you are blah blah blah YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!!". Sorry about that. I think I should stop here and go curb my temper.

Besides for that it was mildly okay. The characters were in danger at the end of every chapter but it is supposed to be an action novel I suppose.

4.2 stars. It really wasn't that bad; certain parts just annoyed me. Can you guess which?

Holly's Inbox, by Holly Denham

The idea of this book is a look into someone else's, namely Holly Denham's, inbox. However, I highly doubt her emails can tell her story so well. It is entertaining to read the book in email format though, and the author uses this limited point of view to create and solve mysteries. While reading, I imagined this girl reading her emails and replying- so much so that I felt as if I was her.

Holly Denham is the new receptionist at a bank. During the day she emails her friends Jason and Aisha, and the other receptionist, Trisha. Slowly, very slowly actually, Holly's story is revealed through her emails. There is nothing else I can say. Those two sentences sum it up. The end.

One of the most entertaining parts of the book (to me) was Holly's responses to spam email. Her replies to the snarky girl upstairs had me cheering for the Holly, whose only flaw was being too nice. What I didn't like was the romance part of the story. Going into details would spoil it for any person who happens upon this blog by complete chance but let me just say that it did not satisfy my inner (and outer) romantic.

4 stars.

Leviathan, by Scott Westerfeld

This book is very different from any I've read in a long time, primarily because it has pictures in it. Not on every page, only these really cool drawings that make the book seem even more interesting.

The plot itself was also very different, in fact, when my friend told me about it I thought she was kidding. See, this is one of those books that goes back in time and turns it all scifi-ish. Leviathan takes place during WWI, and is so historically incorrect that it is easier to think of it as taking place in some other world with countries named Britain and Austria that happened to be exactly in the same places as the Britain and Austria in our world. The main characters are Alek and Deryn and don't meet until the middle of the novel. This is very disconcerting because the chapters switch off and sometimes it takes a paragraph or two to realize who is talking. Alek is the son of the archduke Francis Ferdinand and his wife Sophie whose assassinations were the direct cause of the war. Alek goes on the run so that the people who killed his parents won't be able to kill him too. Deryn meanwhile is a girl masquerading as a boy in the British air force navy whatever you call it.

But what really makes this book interesting are the weapons each side uses. The Allies: Britain, France, and Russia are Darwinists while Germany and Austria are Clankers. Darwinists create fabricated beasts (I think that was a little redundant) that are mixes of different animals created to serve man a specific purpose. Clankers have these awesomely complicated machines. So really the war is Darwinist vs. Clanker.

This is a very historical post. I think I will stop now.

4.7 stars. I am definitely reading the sequel.

Ascendent, by Diana Peterfreund or in my head: Return of the Killer Unicorns!!

I don't know why I love the concept of killer unicorns so much. I think it's partly the way it sounds, partly the concept, and partly the genious of taking such an innocent seeming thing and ripping away it's facade to reveal a MAN EATING MONSTER!!!!! [cue evil laugh]. No, I'm not crazy-just brave enough to say what all my nonexistent readers are thinking.

All killer unicorns aside, or maybe not considering they are part of the book, Ascendent was very different from Rampant. It was darker, turning everything you and Astrid thought you knew upside down and around and right side up again. I liked the darkness though, because a book about killer unicorns shouldn't be happy go lucky. Hence the killer. The problem with the darkness is that it didn't really come in to the story at all until the middle and once it did, everything moved at lightening speed. The twist near the end almost had me in tears which is rare in a fantasy book (rare that it was fantasy, not that I was in tears. I have leakage issues when I read genuine sad stuff).

And now, for the killer unicorns: they were awesomer than ever, reaching new heights of awesomeness that have never been reached before.

One more thing that I liked: the character from the short story that directed me to Rampant came in somewhere in the middle. It was very happy-making.

4.99999999 stars. I just couldn't do 5, even though there are KILLER UNICORNS KILLER UNICORNS KILLER UNICORNS KILLER UNICORNS KILLER UNICORNS KILLER UNICORNS!!!!!

Fallen, by Lauren Kate

I am going to start off by saying that Kate is an awesome last name. Now that I got that out, I can actually tell you about the book.

Fallen is one of those teen romance books where the couple is destined to be together but something major and earth shattering is in their way. And one of them is always some fantastical creature. In Fallen, you don't find out what type of creature or thing makes it fantasy until you are more than halfway finished the book. As much as that annoyed me, I did like how the suspense was built. You can guess but your guesses seem unrealistic until you find out the truth, and then comes the spot where the perfect melody must be played, like something between Titanic (not My Heart Will Go On, but the wordless stuff you don't really hear) and Pirates of the Carribbean (I might have spelled that wrong).

So, basically, this girl always has creepy stuff happen to her and her parents think she is mildly psychotic so they send her to a messed up school for messed up teens. The people there are all, yup, messed up. And then she stalks this guy who is giving totally mixed messages because she thinks she knows him from somewhere. Boy is she surprised when she finds out where they know each other from. And I don't get why this girl is so special--seriously, I know blank walls that are more unique.

4.3 stars. I am way too nice-I don't usually go this low. I definitely recommend it, just don't go crazy obsessed teen while waiting for it. And there are no killer unicorns.

Rampant, by Diana Peterfreund

Here is a list of why I loved this book:
1. It's about killer unicorns. how often do you get to say "hey, i'm reading a book about killer unicorns!". Not often.
2. Diana Peterfreund wrote a killer unicorn in Zombies vs. Unicorns which was unlike any other. In a good way.
3. Killer unicorns. Need I say anymore?

Numbers 4-10 are all the same. Killer unicorns. Sounds corny, but let me tell you--it isn't. The main character, Astrid (love that name-Diana Peterfreund has awesome taste in names), is a descendent of Alexander the Great and is a virgin and so she is a unicorn hunter. She is dragged away from her somewhat normal life and totally crazy mother to learn to be a unicorn hunter. Somehow, she managed to not be annoying and I actually liked her. And there were killer unicorns.

It's kind of hard to say anymore except this: READ IT!! Did you not see what I just said about killer unicorns!?!

5 stars. How could I not, there were killer unicorns.

Yes, I have a thing for killer unicorns.