The Eternal Kiss, 13 Vampire Tales of Blood and Desire, edited by Trisha Telep

I am not a fan of short stories. In fact, I cannnot stand them for the sole reason that there is too much information and too little information. (Most of the time that is. Zombies vs. Unicorns was perfect.) At the same time that the individual authors are trying to complete a short story, you can practically see more ideas coming to thier heads so the story ends up with way too many details. Of all the stories in this book I can only think of 3 that I thought were really good and only one which I actually enjoyed. But since all the vampire stuff is mushing together in my head and I will go through each story individually and try to summarize them in as few words as possible. And I'll rate them because that is always fun. (Yes. I like rating things. It sorts everything out into columns which is a good organizational method for my head which is weirder than any other head you've ever been in. I can guaruntee that.)

Falling to Ash, by Karen Mahoney: Cool concept, but no real end to the story. Vampire chick is on a mission to kill a vampire hunter and gets sidetracked by a hot guy. 4 stars.

Shelter Island, by Melissa de la Cruz: Am a big fan of the author but read this story in a Blue Bloods book so I skipped it here. 4.5 stars.

Sword Point, by Maria V. Snyder: The best story in the book. Girl is fencer and goes to special training school where meets hot guy+evil vampires (vampires=evil in this story) 5 stars

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown, by Holly Black: Freaky. Really freaky but genious. Too much to explain but not too much for a short story. Perfect vampire story, just too gloomy for me. I like happy endings. No happy endings here. Or beginnings. Or middle. 4.3 stars

Undead is Very Hot Right Now, by Sarah Rees Brennan: I forgot about this one but it was good. Not depressing, kinda funny. Guy is vampire and rock star. Learns a lesson from a fan girl. 4 stars.

It has come to my attention that I have been rating these stories higher than I meant to. I am very sorry. My happy side is defeating my sarcastic side repeatedly. My sarcastic side is going to cry now.

Kat, by Kelley Armstrong: I've read other books by Armstrong that take place in this world so I got was going on and am unfit to judge. 4.2 stars.

The Thirteenth Step, by Libba Bray: From what I've read of Libba Bray, that woman's brain must be a dark place. But this story was just what a vampire story should be. Too shivery to divulge any details. 3.8 stars. (I know it is less stars but sarcasm is starting to win and the story did almost give me nightmares.)

All Hallows, by Rachel Caine: Hated it. One of the worst if not the worst story in the book. Too bad to even tell you about. But if you read even one of her Morganville vampires books you know how bad an author she is. 1.9 stars.

Wet Teeth, by Cecil Castellucci: Another proper vampire story. For all of you who don't know, vampires are BAD. They are not misunderstood lovers who try their hardest not to bite you. Miles was bad but he had some emotions but was still bad. 3.7 stars.

Other Boys, by Cassandra Clare: Starts off innocent and slowly gets creepy until you want to chuck the book across the room. Clare tends to put book-chucking qualities in her stories. (Read: supposed incest). No incest here but the last paragraph made my gag reflex act up. Girl likes boy who pretends he is vampire. Then crazy stuff happens. 3.7 stars.

Passing, by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie: Amazing story, but would be better as a full legnth novel. Too much had to be explained. But still amazing. 3.5 stars.

Ambition, by Lili St. Crow: Revenge of the outcasts. 4.7 stars.

All Wounds, by Dina James: I would say that would be better as a full legnth book but it probably wouldn't be. Entire intro is unnecessary. 3.4 stars.

What I have learned from this book is that the best vampires are evil ones; nice ones don't make sense. I also learned that vampires should be avoided at all costs if possible. Because if they don't bite you and they're good, you'll just end up in love with them. And you wouldn't believe the moral anguish they go through over that.

In total: 4 stars.



Yes, I know it looks trashy.